Just read this on a church site thought it was really good...
Until you understand that God loves you, you won’t understand the answers to any of these other questions either. Until you understand that if He was ever going to back out you it would have been at Calvary, it won’t be with your kids, it won’t be with your health, with your marriage, with your employment, it won’t be with your finances. If He carried through with Calvary, not going to back out now.
Well then, you might ask, why isn’t he answering my prayer? I want to ask that question three different ways. As I do, see if you can pick out the differences in the questions. God, why are you not answering my prayers (plural)? God, why are you not answering my prayer (singular)? God, why didn’t you answer my prayer? (past tense)
The first question used prayer in the plural sense. Why doesn’t God answer my prayers? If none of your prayers are ever answered, you may have a much more serious issue going on. If God doesn’t answer any of your prayers, you may need to reexamine your life, you need to ask yourself, am I really a Christian? Do I really belong to Jesus? Am I really a follower? If you’re not really a Christian, if you haven’t really turned from your sins to follow Jesus, then you can’t expect God to answer your prayers.
Let me give you two verses that show that. The first is from Isaiah 59:1-2, “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.”
The other verse is Psalm 66:18, which says, “If I cherished sin in my heart, The Lord would not have listened.” Both verses say the same thing. If we’re lost in our sin, God won’t hear our prayers. If we come to Jesus, believe, repent, and give ourselves to Him, God forgives our sins, and our prayers are heard. So if none of your prayers aren’t being answered, make sure it isn’t unconfessed sin in your life. Make sure you’re right with God.
The rest of this message is going to be on the other two wordings of the question. The next is, “God, why aren’t you answering my prayer?” Singular prayer, present tense. You’re still praying, there’s a prayer. But it’s not being answered. And then the third question, “God, why didn’t you answer my prayer?” Still a single prayer, but it’s past tense. One prayer, never got answered. The person who asks this question gave up on prayer - at least on a prayer that was very important to him, he asked God for a prayer and it didn’t get answered. Maybe they asked God for healing but it didn’t come, they asked God for their marriage to come back together and it didn’t, they don’t ask anymore because God didn’t answer.
In both of these questions, it’s important to understand something. “God delays are not God’s denials.” If you’ve walked any length of time with Jesus at all, you’ve got to understand that one. You’ve got to know the difference between no, and not yet. We’re going to look at how to deal with delays, and we’re going to look at how to deal with denials. But you need to understand they’re not the same thing. God’s delays are not his denials.
Say it with me, God’s delays are not God’s denials. Sometimes when you pray, God hears it immediately, but he answers it slowly. There’s a difference between no and not yet. Don’t you have to teach that to your kids? Of course you do. If you have little ones at your house, and you hear, Mom, can I have a cookie, NO. What’s that mean, you’ll never give them a cookie again? No, it means, not yet. Because there’s something better coming, and you’ll spoil it if you eat the cookie now. So no doesn’t mean never, it just means not now.
The mark of maturity in the Christian life is how long can you wait? Babies can’t wait. They cry when they don’t get their way. Babies want it immediately, mature people can wait. Our society isn’t big on waiting; we don’t like to wait for anything. You know, when our great great-grandfathers missed a stage coach, they just waited three more weeks for the next one. It was no big deal. We get ticked off if we miss a section in a revolving door!
I want to suggest to you that most of the time when people give up on prayer because they don’t get an answer, they haven’t really lost faithin prayer, they’ve lost patience in prayer. You might say, Pastor, I’ve tried prayer and it didn’t work. I’ve given up on prayer; I’ve lost my faith in prayer. You haven’t lost your faith in prayer; you’ve lost your patience in prayer.
Here’s something to remember, God answers in his own time. Do you remember when Mary and Martha’s brother Lazarus died? He was sick, so in John 11 they sent a messenger to go tell Jesus. And when he got to Jesus he told Him your good friend is sick, really sick, you better get over there. When Jesus hears this message, first it says in verse 5, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” Verse 6 says, “Yet when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.” You need to know that He loves you. If He’s not answering your prayers, or if the answer is delayed, and you’re convinced He doesn’t love you, you’re wrong. He still loves you.
Yet when he heard that he was sick, he stayed two more days in the place where he was. Why would he do that? It took a day for the messenger to get there, he stays two more days, then he takes a day to get there, and when Mary and Martha get to him they say he’s been dead four days! Where were you? Isn’t that what you’d like to ask God? Where were you? Are you ever going to come through for me, or not? I don’t know if you’ve heard my prayer or not, but God, are you going to answer me, or not.
Let me just give you a little prayer tip here, when God delays, it’s always going to be about one of three things. It might be all three, but it’s always going to be about at least one. When God delays your prayers, it might have something to do with Grace.
Ruth Graham said that if God had been faithful and answered all of her prayers she would married the wrong man at least seven times. If you don’t believe in God’s delaying prayers as an act of grace, just go back to a High School Reunion and just take a good look at some of the people you used to pray that you could get close to. See if you don’t thank God he didn’t answer all your prayers. You’ll say thank you, God, he’s so short and bald. You weren’t thinking that when you were praying and he held you off, you weren’t thinking that when the engagement broke off. You weren’t thinking that when he broke up with you. But it had something to do with His grace. Sometimes God waits till later so he can do it better. And He’s showing you His grace by letting you wait for something better.
Sometimes it has to do with Growth. Sometime He shows grace, sometimes He develops growth. Sometimes he says, “Listen, you’re not ready.” Back to John 11, and Lazarus’ death, in verse 15 he says, “For you sake, I’m glad I was not there so you may believe.” I let Lazarus die for you. Sometimes God wants to develop your growth. Somebody once said faith is like a roll of film, it can only be developed in the dark. God pulls the lights down, and you’re struggling through something, and you say God, WHY? And God says, because I want you to grow. You know plants need light to grow, we have to struggle through dark times to grow.
Sometimes it has to do with God’s Glory. Sometimes God waits so that he can display his glory, so he can get the applause. He might wait till it’s humanly impossible, so we know it had to be God. In John 11:4, “When he heard this, Jesus said, ‘this sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory, so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.’” In John 11:40, He said to Mary, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” God’s never late, he’s rarely early. He’s always right on time.
Something else to remember about God’s delays is that God answers in his own way. In the book of Acts, toward the end, we see that Apostle Paul wanted to go to Rome. Did he get to Rome? Yes. How did he get there? Acts 28:16 tells us how he got there. “Now when we came to Rome, the centurion delivered the prisoners to the captain of the guard; but Paul was permitted to dwell by himself with the soldier who guarded him.” Paul was a prisoner. He got there through Caesar. He got there through Agrippa and Felix. He got there through the most unlikely people. He went through a shipwreck. He got bit by a poisonous snake. He got stoned and left for dead. Did he get to Rome? Yes. He got to Rome. Did he get there the way he thought he would? No, not in a millions years would he have thought that would happen. Do your prayers always get answered the way you think they’re going to? No. Not always.
What’s God telling you? God’s telling you that you have a problem dealing with delays in your life. Remember God answer in my own ways and He answers in His own time. It has something to do with God’s grace, it has something to do with your growth, it has something to do with God’s glory. God’s delays are not His denials.
So what happens when you’re struggling with God saying no? How do we deal with denials? Jesus said three times, Father, if it be possible, please; if it’s possible, please; if it’s possible, please. In our reading, in verse 40, it says, “On reaching the place”. What place? The place of surrender, the place of submission. You’ve been there. It’s a dark place. And you have to go there alone.
Your friends can’t walk through that divorce with you. They want to, but they can’t. Your friends can’t walk through cancer with you. They want to, but they can’t. They can’t take the chemo for you, they want to, but they can’t.
This is where Jesus was that night. The dark place of submission. God said no. And Jesus is receiving the will of God, he’s not resisting, He’s prayed all along, “your will be done.” Peter resisted the will, they came to arrest Jesus and Peter takes his sword and went swoosh. He cut off Malchus’s ear. Jesus said Peter, you shouldn’t have done that. Peter said I didn’t mean to, he meant to cut his head off. I’m a fisherman, not a swordsman. He moved his head and cut it off. Peter resisted God’s will. Judas outright refused God’s will. Jesus accepted it.
When you’re walking through your own prayer life and God says no, you need to know three things. All three are true every time. (A.) God has a better plan, (B) God has a bigger purpose, (C) God has a broader perspective.
Why didn’t God answer my prayer? I don’t know. I just know that he has a bigger plan than you. I just know that when it came to his own Son, Jesus received death so that I might have life. Jesus took the wrong so I would be made right, Jesus went through hell so I would have heaven. Jesus received shame so I would get glory. Jesus received violence so I could have peace.
I don’t know why? I just know this. Don’t you ever forget this, when you’re in your prayer closet, here is what you can always know. He lives so he can make intercession for you (Hebrews 7:25). Which means, you’ve got his prayers. He’s just a stone’s throw away. You’ve got his presence. He’s watching you. And you’ve got his promise.
So when the request is not right, God says no. When you’re not right God says grow. When the timing is not right, God says slow. When everything lines up, God says go.
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