A Ruby or a Lump of Coal

When you look at coal there is not much that is beautiful about it. It's black, makes a mess, sometimes smells, and is used to burn things. Sometimes being a single woman is difficult. A single woman could look at her single life and feel like it fits right in there next to a lump of coal. Not many people understand you, they think you aren't complete unless you have a husband, they think you aren't happy and they should pity you. They think you have all the free time in the world so you should be able to do everything and be involved in everything. There are the eyes that watch you when you even barely speak a friendly hello to a single man... "ooo are they courting now?" is seen on every face even when it's just a friendly hi. There are the well meaning but very misplaced friends that think it's a great idea to try and set up you up with "this awesome guy". Little do they know it's not fun, not a good idea, and they are NOT God, nor does it help you. There are the awkward moments when everyone around you is in a relationship and is desperately in love and that's all they can talk about. The moments when all your friends that used to talk about spiritual things are now talking about married life and babies. Moments when the thought flits across your mind will that ever happen to me? Moments that though you will the thought away it still comes was I just not good enough for a man? What is wrong with me? There are the times of being misunderstood, times of loneliness, times of facing fear and not having anyone to talk it out to, times of having to make big hard decisions all alone. BUT if one were to look at all the coal they might miss the gem hidden inside.
Singleness is beautiful. Just like a rare ruby is taken out of the darkest places so singleness can be viewed in such a beautiful light and can be a treasure to all those that are around it.  Yes, it is difficult but Oh the beauty of a single woman finding fulfillment in Christ. There is nothing like laying in bed and the first conscious thought is the whisper in the ear "Wake up my beloved, come, seek me." Oh the fulfillment and blessing that is found leaning on the arm of one's Heavenly Beloved. An arm that never fails...that arm will always be there to lean on, a shoulder that is big enough to carry the hardest thing that you have, big enough for you to cry on. He is able to make a single girl feel complete to know that no, she wasn't ever good enough for Him but He loved her anyways and is now making her what she ought to be. To know that though she was full of sin and there was a lot wrong with her He loved her anyways and died for her. To know that when she's facing times of fear He is the best listener in the world and He has all the right answers! When she has to make difficult decisions she has the best man, the Man Christ- Jesus her Counselor and Instructor right there to guide her and direct her.
What many single women don't realize is that God gives gifts...he will give a gift of a man to a woman. He gives the gift of children of happy homes of many of these beautiful things. But God also gives just as important gifts to single women. A single woman is not second rate because she isn't married. A single woman is not on a lower shelf from all the other woman who are married and now are mothers. Motherhood is not the highest calling for every woman. Now you may think me a heretic for saying that. Hear me out...motherhood is the highest calling for a woman IF that is what God has called her to. Motherhood is beautiful and noble and honoring to God. But to say that motherhood is the highest calling is to say that women that can't have children and women that are single are somehow not living up to God's best. That is not scriptural. So the same is for marriage...marriage is beautiful and wonderful and God-ordained but to say that a woman is of lower value because she isn't married isn't a correct view. But the same is a single woman... to say that singleness is the best is wrong as well. God gives each one of us a course and  a path with one intention...to conform us to His beloved Son. If he sees that the best way He can conform us to Christ is through marriage, or motherhood than that is the path that he leads us down. But if he sees that He can better conform us to Christ through singleness and barrenness than that path is just as worthy to be walked because of the goal at the end! Dear sisters... be content, be thankful, be purposeful where God has placed you. Be a ruby rather than a lump of coal. Don't let your circumstances make you nothing better than bitter and not any better than to be burned allow your God-given circumstances to make you into a beautiful ruby that exudes strength for Christ's sake.